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Biblical Blunders and Punning Punishments

Biblical Blunders

  • Why did Moses cross the Red Sea? To find the Israelites kosher.

  • How does Jesus tie his sandals? With cross trainers.

Bible and Education

  • What subject did Noah fail? Archeology.

  • Why was Mary sent to the principal’s office? For her Immaculate Deception.

Stomach and November

  • What do you call a stomach ache on November 17th? A November 32nd.

Knock Knock

  • Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Bible.
    • Bible who?
    • Bible study…You know, where we read the Bible.

School and Education

  • What do you call a kid who always skips school? Matthew.

  • Why did the student try to eat their homework? They had a belly full of books.

Biblical Antics in Politics

One politician was bragging about his religious beliefs in a campaign speech.
“I believe that the Bible is the absolute truth,” he declared.
A little girl in the audience raised her hand. “Excuse me,” she said. “But in the Bible, it says that we should turn the other cheek.”
The politician smiled and replied, “Ah, but what it doesn’t say is which cheek.”

Random Joke

  • What do you call a person who spends all their time at the post office? A philatelist (phee-lat-uh-list).